February 2011
58 posts
I've noticed
that since I can’t exactly post on here anymore due to a certain someone, and have been writing a lot on my own… well, you can only write so much before you realize that no one will ever fucking read what you write.
Therefore, it is useless.
So I just want to take a moment, to thank whoever it is that is reading my blog to my mom. Thanks for taking a chunk out of my life, as lame as...
what
the FUCK
January 2011
66 posts
Time Slots For SDB5 Tonight!
faviannn:
07:00 - 07:40 CHEY FIGS vs D-BOT 07:40 - 08:30 CHRIS LOVE vs SONNY DAZE 08:30 - 09:00 DJ CHIPY 09:00 - 09:30 ERNESTO CRUZ 09:30 - 10:00 NICK NYQUIL 10:00 - 10:30 SWITCHBLADE 10:30 - 11:00 ATOM O.N.E. 11:00 - 12:20 DYLOOT vs B33SON 12:20 - 01:40 LE CASTLE VANIA *** 01:40 - 03:20 ZEDS DEAD *** <—-FUCK YEAH ZEDS DEAD!!!! YESSSS! 03:20 - 04:30 DRAGN’FLY vs G.A.M.M.A....
...
reading a book > internet.
Lately, I haven’t really been enjoying being on the computer. Nothing new ever really happens, and I find myself getting annoyed or upset over some really dumb things sometimes. It just doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, so why not spend my time doing something enjoyable.
You're such a liar.
“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain...”
– Douglas Coupland, Life After God (via poeticheartache)
How is it
that I can write 2500 words in one sitting, about nonsense…
and I can’t write 250 words for an assignment in a class?
I want someone who will make me want to do something with my life.
Dear ___,
You were doing so well, what happened? I can’t even talk to you about it. That’s what makes me sad, because I know that I couldn’t help even if I tried. But when you’re sad, I’m sad. Likewise… when you’re happy, I’m happy. So hurry up and get happy because I’m fucking dying here.
Love, Julia.
There is only one person
that I would want to talk to right now.
FUCK YOU
no, not you. You’re okay. But you, and you, and you, and you, and you and you and you, fuck you. I fucking hate you and you’re so full of shit that I just want to scream.
Anyway, time to get the fuck over myself. I’m not that important and life goes on. I have wasted my entire fucking day sitting here and feeling oh so bad for myself for not being happy, so much that I could...
I don’t know what the fuck your problem is. I hate being replaced, and that’s all that has been happening to me lately. If there is something that I am doing wrong, why don’t you just tell me rather than treating me like shit and making me confused. I don’t know why communication is so difficult for everyone. Like, what the fuck is even the point of me being here if...
Watch
What the fuck
I’m so confused. I just want to talk to someone. No, not pay someone to listen to me. I want a good conversation. I haven’t had one in too long, because things always get ruined somehow.
This entire week has been just kind of been happening while I sit here and do nothing. I’m kind of just watching everything as it goes by and giving more and more advice and thoughts to people...
Not looking forward
to going to school and hearing about how fucked up people got on the weekend/the same story over and over again by the same people/people hyping things up to make me feel less worthy since my life isn’t as “fun”as theirs…all of the fucking homework I missed for not being at school for so long/still being kinda sick/ FUCK.
I’m normally not one to complain so much...
Time for my third shower of the day.
sounds horrible. but I can’t help it.
...
I don’t know why I keep saying “fuck you” over and over in my head. I don’t know if it’s to me, or to other people. A mixture of both, I suppose. I think, “fuck you” when I don’t do things I’m supposed to be doing. When I think of all the stressful situations that I have full control of taking care of, yet choose to sit here and do nothing...
some music sounds better blasted through some shitty speakers than through some high quality headphones.
I don’t know why.
6 places you want to go.
japan, australia, disneyworld, southern california, SF state (ha.), and… new york.
too bad I’ve already been to all these places except for new york.
7 wants.
mutual feelings, motivation to go to school, warmth, sleep, energy, genuine happiness, genuine friendship. (in no order whatsoever.)
one more.
fuck people that intentionally hurt me. seriously you have no idea how much your words have stuck with me throughout tonight. I hope you will one day understand that you are a fucking controlling asshole and I
am not making sense anymore.
one of my favorites.
christ
all the things I want to say to/ask you but I cant.
That awkward moment when homophobes think their...
-lightsareon:
Fuck off.
Anonymous asked: ive asked you to hang out more than once. ive told you ill be there for you and i really wanted to be. ive asked how you were doing. ive tried but i guess what you want or wanted wasnt from me but from one of your close friends or some other person.
you make it so hard to be close to you or be friends with you generally. im not sorry i tried. my offer is always there. but i guess...
you make it so hard to be close to you or be friends with you generally. im not sorry i tried. my offer is always there. but i guess...
Day 3: 8 fears.
Losing the people I love, people hating me, not ever finding anyone to love that would love me back, doing something I don’t want to do with my life, breaking my arms/wrists/hands or getting crippled to the point where I cant play music or draw, becoming a drug addict, having to rely on medication, getting brainwashed.
Anonymous asked: I've been like a shitty friend the last two weeks, regardless of what has come up. So I'm in no position to flatter you, but you're easily one of the coolest people I know. and you have a wonderful singing voice.
mielstrom asked: !!!!!!!!!
LET'S.
I didn't know you were artsy-fartsy too! x)
Also, confession: I think you are fucking beautiful.
LET'S.
I didn't know you were artsy-fartsy too! x)
Also, confession: I think you are fucking beautiful.
Anonymous asked: Julia, i honestly think you are an amazing person. Its like by some divine miracle that i met you and actually became close to you. I feel extremely lucky to have become friends with someone like you. You're a true friend even if you have your moments, everyone does. You're someone that i can talked to and relate to so much but still not be afraid to disagree with. Even through rough...
darth-strix asked: we should start chilling again! maybe another cup of coffee?
Anonymous asked: I like your way with words. I don't know how to explain it any deeper than that, sorry. But take it as a compliment :).
emiscoolerthanyou asked: Hi Julia! You're super rad, you know!
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
Day 2: 9 loves.
family, friends, music, art, expression, bizarre things, interesting people, coffee, gummy worms…
I fucking hate it when people try to change me. I hate not having people to just talk to without feeling like I’m wasting their time. I dislike the fact that the people I go out of my way for, will probably not ever go out of their way for me.
I don’t know what kind of mood I’m in right now. I feel like I haven’t been thinking all day and have been doing mindless...
The more I try not to think about something
the more I think about it.
I know I’m going to be late for school, since its 7:38 and I usually leave around 7:30…
But now I’m thinking of whether or not I should even go. I feel like I’m going to be tweaked out because I took a bunch of medicine… (ibuprofin, midrin, fioricet, naproxen, dextromethorphan, zyrtec, and of course vitamins) and it’s definitely safe to mix all of those and I...
I feel like hell.
I would like
a massage, a good conversation, and a hug right about now. :/
My shoulders and mind are killing me.
Anonymous asked: Do you like cornbread?
nickanor asked: Hi Julia! You probably get this a lot, but I think you're super cool. One of these days I'm going to start talking to you again.
Anonymous asked: I appreciate how humble you are. Not many people are humble.
You're a good person. Be happy.
You're a good person. Be happy.